My friend’s boyfriend is an idiot. I mean, honestly, I have no idea what she sees in him. He treats her terribly, he’s not good for her, and no, his looks don’t compensate for his behavior. So why does she stay with him?
I found this quote by Johnny Depp that seems to answer my question. Turns out that in addition to being one very sexy pirate, the man is a genius…
“I think when you’re young, you’re hoping that this person will be the right one, the one you’re going to be in love with forever. But sometimes you want that so much that you create something that really isn’t there.”
Well…umm…I know I’ve done that before.
And I know that no one’s interested in my romantic failures but this same concept applies to work.
You see, we go to college and immediately have to decide what to study. Yes, while some of us can’t even do our own laundry, we have to pretty much decide what we want to do with our lives. No pressure.
Then we graduate and we’re forced to find jobs so we don’t starve to death. But in our job search, we think and we hope that the first job we get will be the perfect one. We want it to work out so badly.
We believe that it HAS to work out.
Let’s take me for example. I went to school and got my degree in Health Services Administration. While in school, I landed a job as a secretary at hospital. That made sense. But you know what? Now that I’ve been working for about two years, I realize that there are a lot of other things that I like. There are a lot of other things that I’d rather be doing.
Look job, it’s not you, it’s me. I don’t think we’re as compatible as I once thought.
So I have a choice. I can either create something that really isn’t there and force myself to like it or I can realize that it’s not working and move on, knowing that there has to be something better.
I think a lot of people feel this way. A lot of people land jobs immediately after graduation and think, “this is it.” A few weeks, months, sometimes years later, they realize that they’re not happy. But instead of doing something about it, they settle.
And what happens? By the age of 25 they get hit in the face with this lovely thing called the quarter life crisis which isn’t nearly as fun as the mid life crisis because at 25 people are broke and can’t afford to buy convertibles.
So listen, it’s okay if you graduate and your first “dream job” turns out to be an epic fail. CONGRATS! You’re one step closer to finding something you DO like. Try to learn as much as you can from every job you have. That’s what this time is for. This is the time to figure out what you like, what you don’t like, what you’re good at, what you suck at, etc. So don’t be afraid to acknowledge that what you’re doing isn’t the right fit for you and that you need something different. It doesn’t make YOU a failure.
Because really,
If your job doesn’t challenge you…
If your job doesn’t interest you…
If your job doesn’t make you a better person…
And if your job is causing you to consume excessive amounts of alcohol…
Then it might be time to break up. And I know it’s hard. I know it’s hard thinking that you invested so much time into that degree that’s hanging on your wall. So many freaking papers and exams. So many all-nighters. How can you possibly think of doing anything different?
Understand that sometimes things just don’t work out. It sucks, I know. But you know what? It’s better to accept that you need a new job and find something that you DO love as opposed to spending years and years being a bitter and miserable a-hole.
Too many people stay in relationships that don’t make them happy. Too many people stay in jobs that they hate. Is that really what you want? To spend 15 years at a job that you hate? I definitely don’t.
Because at the end of the day, pretending to love something or someone when you actually don’t is very stressful. And quite honestly, I don’t want to be stressed because stress causes wrinkles and botox is expensive.
Books on blogging to help you take your blog to the next level:
- Building A Framework
- Blog, Inc.
- Creative, Inc.
- How To Blog For Profit Without Selling Your Soul
- 365 Blog Topic Ideas: For The Lifestyle Blogger Who Has Nothing To Write About
- #GirlBoss
- Leave Your Mark: Land Your Dream Job, Kill It In Your Career, Rock Social Media
- Crush It
- Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook
- Thrive
Books to help you deal with your twenties:
- 101 Secrets For Your Twenties
- Life After College
- The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter & How To Make The Most of Them
- Adulting: How To Become A Grown Up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps
- All Groan Up: Searching For Self, Faith, and A Freaking Job!
Other stuff you might like:
- Generation Y Redefines Success
- How To Be Rich in Your Twenties
- The 5 Most Valuable Lessons Grad School Taught Me
- Pursue a Lifestyle, Not a Job
- Why It’s Okay to Be Excited About the Awesome Stuff You’re Doing
- Why We Need to Get Over Our Fear of Rejection
- Don’t Wait, Be Happy Now
- The 5 Best Investments You Can Make in College
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Yeah, I’ve done that crap before. Relationships suck sometimes…
Excellent!!!
Love that Steve Jobs quote. And I think you said it – Depp is remarkably astute when it comes to relationship insight,
Yes 100 times. So many influences to stay at jobs just because they pay well, or your parents approve, fear of change etc. I haven’t found “the one” in the job department but at least I am still searching.
Since I am old enough to be most of the commentators Grandfather (and yours too Kayla), I had to smile as I read this post and comments. No need to worry…these things will smooth out as life gets longer. Love will be found, mates will actually stick around for decades, and jobs will surface which are fulfilling and the work you do will not be beneath you.You’ll look back in amazement.
Be encouraged!…literally.
Oh my goodness, I lost a best friend because she dated a verbally abusive megalomaniac guy who wouldn’t let her hang out with me because whenever she was with me, she would actually admit she was in an abusive relationship. I’m not sure if he knew that, but I used to catch a glimpse of him texting her, “but I’m so lonely sitting here in my room all alone…” when they had just seen each other hours before.
And just like your story, he wasn’t even cute! Ugh. What girls do for guys. I just say, “if I clean the kitchen and make you dinner, you’ll go see two chick flicks with me right?” :p He never declines when he starts to get a whiff of what’s going on in the kitchen.
Kayla, I absolutely love your blog. It’s fun, informative, and real. Keep it up! I love the message.
Doesn’t matter if Gen X, Y, Z, great article for all ages. Analogy is so simple and true.