Why We Need To Get Over Our Fear of Rejection

Get Over Our Fear of Rejection

Nobody likes the word NO.

It sucks, usually, when you want something and you just can’t have it.

No… you can’t have that job.

No… I won’t pay you $70k a year so you can pay off your student loans of a million dollars.

No… you can’t have that slice of pizza.

DAMNIT.

But let’s face it…

NO is definitely a word that we need to get used to.

Especially us young people at the very start of our careers.

Now, I won’t lie… I’ve always been one of those people who hates rejection.

I HATED applying for jobs and getting back that super annoying e-mail…

“Thank you for your interest…blah…blah…blah…but unfortunately, we’ve decided to move forward with other candidates that better qualify…blah…blah…blah.”

Translation: YOU ARE A LOSER.

I hated it SO much that for a long time, I just stopped applying.

Even to jobs that I really wanted.

Because I figured that at the very least, my inbox wasn’t full of rejection e-mails.

Life was good!

But after a while, I noticed that I wasn’t getting any offers either.

How could I? I wasn’t applying!

You see…that scary and vulnerable position that we put ourselves in that quite often leads to rejection…it’s the SAME position that also gets you what you want.

When it comes to your career, you need to learn to love the word NO.

Or at the very least, you need to stop being scared of it.

Because your career is NEVER going to be handed to you.

Nope…sorry.

You can’t just sit back, play X-Box all day, and expect that someone’s going to knock on your door and offer you your dream job.

That’s not the way it works.

You have to WORK for your career.

You have to ASK for what you want.

You have to take CHANCES.

And while you’re doing this, you’re going to hear NO every once in a while.

Maybe even all the time.

But it shouldn’t discourage you…

Because it means that you’re doing something right.

Think about it…

If you’re facing rejection…if you’re hearing the word NO…it means that you’re putting yourself out there.

It means that you’re taking chances. It means that you’re asking for what you want.

Sure, you’re giving other people the opportunity to say NO to you.

But you’re also giving them the opportunity to say YES.

So don’t be afraid of rejection.

Embrace it.

Learn to love it.

Because the more you hear the word NO, the less it’ll affect you.

And in the long run, you’ll take more risks.

And you’ll take more chances.

And you’ll ask for what you want.

And you’ll get it.

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172 Comments

  1. Katie

    April 25, 2013 at 5:56 pm

    Great advice! I have myself this pep talk just about every day for the seven months I spent applying for jobs.

  2. MrFz

    April 25, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    perfecto!
    Once You Make a Decision, The universe Conspires To make It happen.
    -Law of attraction- ^^

    1. Kayla Cruz

      April 26, 2013 at 1:16 am

      Absolutely! Thanks for reading 🙂

  3. Patrick

    April 25, 2013 at 6:55 pm

    I also like a quote from the show How I Met Your Mother: Doesn’t being scared let you know you’re on to something important? If you’re not scared, you’re not taking a chance. And if you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing?

    1. Kayla Cruz

      April 26, 2013 at 1:16 am

      Ahhh…I like that one! And I’m obsessed with How I Met Your Mother! You’ve got good taste! 🙂

  4. kelseyginck

    April 25, 2013 at 7:15 pm

    This is such an important and difficult lesson. I also think we need to learn that if you are rejected from a job it’s not personal — that job just wasn’t for you. We have to stop thinking about getting the interview “right” or coming off as perfect. The best thing you can do is be yourself and find a job that fits your strengths rather than the other way around. You have to trust that interviewers will always pick the right person for that job, and if it isn’t you, — on to the next!

    1. Kayla Cruz

      April 26, 2013 at 1:15 am

      That’s great advice, Kelsey! We can’t take it so personally -even though it’s really hard not to sometimes. And yep, best thing to do is be yourself! Thanks for reading 🙂

  5. Louis Brown

    April 25, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    Over the time that I filled out job applications in the last couple of years, I have experienced rejection constantly. Sometimes it was instantaneous as my application was rejected; sometimes it took a couple of days. But the result was always the same: REJECTED! If you don’t match up EXACTLY to what a company wants you will never get a chance at an interview. After 20+ years in retail and 100+ applications to various companies, I got ZERO interviews. So seriously, what is wrong with me that I can’t land an interview. Companies are part of the problem by making profiles so extreme that they will only accept those that match them to the letter. I don’t believe rejection is the people but the horrible companies themselves and the technology that drives their application process. Until this changes, I will probably unemployed for ad infinitum.

  6. optimisticgladness

    April 25, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    Yes! I love this post. Sitting on the side lines of life is no fun. Great post!

    1. Kayla Cruz

      April 26, 2013 at 1:13 am

      Thanks so much! Hope you’re having a great week!

  7. theresultsmayvary

    April 25, 2013 at 11:36 pm

    I have a large file of letters that I personally call “Please, Fuck Off” letters. I’ve hunted for jobs several times over the past 20 years. It sucks. You have to learn to laugh things off and keep hunting. And accept that starting from the bottom doesn’t suck, it’s just a stepping stone to running the show.

  8. chelsealeighbee

    April 25, 2013 at 11:48 pm

    I have been serious job hunting for the last couple of weeks. I am so tired of those nicely put rejection emails that I could spit! So yesterday I decided to get all dolled up and made a list of places to apply to in my town. Everywhere I went and asked if they were hiring, I was looked at like I had 50 heads and everywhere told me “If we were hiring it would be on the website and you would have to go from there”. I didn’t know that basically ALL employers are making you fill out an online app! What happened to the good ol’ days where you burned a half a tank of gas and put on a black blazer in 75 degree weather just for a job prospect!?!

  9. jonhull1968

    April 25, 2013 at 9:26 pm

    Reblogged this on jonhull1968.

  10. Sean Breslin

    April 26, 2013 at 2:24 am

    Agreed…”No” is a big part of adulthood, and the quicker we learn to respond to it (and show that we KNOW how to respond to it), the more resilient we’ll be.

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  12. Ellie

    April 26, 2013 at 3:11 am

    Ah! I really needed this post! You are absolutely right!!!

  13. Mickey!

    April 27, 2013 at 4:04 am

    Perfect! And just keep on trying is the best one can do..after all one has nothing has to lose :)) Loved it, thanks for inspiring 🙂

  14. laptopsandheels

    April 28, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    Great positive attitude!

    Laptopsandheels.wordpress.com

  15. Klara

    April 28, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    This is something my mom always used to tell me – if I wouldn’t try for something out of fear of getting a “NO”, I would have the “NO” already… Never valued this piece of advice as much as at present, during applications that may give me a “NO”. You’re absolutely right – thanks for the reminder 🙂

  16. michaelrowley01

    April 28, 2013 at 11:36 pm

    Very Good article Kayla. Lots of young people have no idea that competing and taking things into their own hands is the only way to get anything in life. Too many people at school kept talking to them about fairness and entitlement and believed it. The day you realise that these two things are just airy fairy concepts that have little to do with real life is the day you start doing something with your life. Nice to see that some young people get it!!!!! 🙂

    Cheers Michael

  17. michaelrowley01

    April 28, 2013 at 11:38 pm

    Reblogged this on tallagency and commented:
    A very inspiring post from one so young who gets that a successful life is something you go for, not something that turns up at the door one day.
    Cheers Michael

  18. Love and Anthropology

    April 29, 2013 at 12:05 am

    Great post! I feel like I should ask this guy I’m interested in if he’d want to see about taking us more seriously…. I tried last night but chickened out, out of the pure thought of his saying no. But what the hell! Better than living in the “what If” 🙂

  19. Ryan Rohlf

    April 29, 2013 at 10:03 pm

    Another great article. It’s definitely helpful to be reminded of this every once in a while. Thanks!

  20. Kate Swaffer

    April 30, 2013 at 12:08 am

    I see rejection as another next towards becoming greater…

  21. fearofthewild

    May 2, 2013 at 8:09 pm

    Excellent! I love this post because you approached the dilemma from a positive way. I hate reading articles that are negative. Screws up my mojo. This refreshes my perspective!

  22. sarajanelle

    May 6, 2013 at 6:23 pm

    Congratulations Blogger Friend! I enjoy your blog, so I have nominated you for the Best Moment Award! Please go here: http://sarajanelle.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/best-moment-award/ for further instructions! Enjoy!

  23. miketrusty

    May 6, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    Excellent advise, with out the word no Yes wouldn’t be as exciting in most cases.

  24. rkutchjm

    May 15, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    Hey, thanks for joining me. I like your stuff too.

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    Interesting article for me. I have a fear of rejection and it has convinced me that people won’t accept me for one or more reasons. Maybe my fear is that they won’t accept my opinions, values, beliefs or behavior.

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